Bereavement Blog Assignment #1

March 7, 2011


"Exploring the Mother-Child Relationship - What are your memories of important events in your childhood that either include your mother or you wish included her?"

I honestly cannot think of an important event in my childhood that Mama wasn’t involved in or present for.

I joined Brownies in second grade; she became the assistant leader of the troop. We explored Brownies and Girl Scouts together through my sophomore year in high school. I left scouting then to pursue other things and so did she.

We shopped together for every special event; school dances, Christmas and other holidays, birthdays, baby showers, wedding showers. And we shopped together just to have time together. We went to lunch, to coffee, and spent time just sitting together at home and talking through life.

We planned my high school graduation party together. We planned my wedding together. She was with me when my son was born; welcomed children and grandchildren into the family until the day she died.

We shared everything about our lives with each other; nothing was taboo, not even sex or the lack thereof. No subject or question was ever dealt with other than openly and honestly.

The only important event she ever missed was my second wedding. There was not enough notice for her and Daddy to change their plans. But I talked to her the morning of my wedding and we talked again that night. She was there in spirit.

Mama was, is and will always be my best friend. I miss her.

March 7, 2011

"Exploring the Mother-Adult Relationship - What qualities of your mother have you taken in or internalized? i.e. behaviors, phrases, values, etc."

I am my mother’s daughter in almost every way. I look like her, I talk like her, I use the same cuss words (plus a few more), and I feel the same way about life and family that she did. I learned on her lap, at her knee, and by her side.

I am a touchy, feely person just like she was. I hug, I love to snuggle babies and critters, and I love with all my heart. Mama did and that’s all I know. And our hearts were broken many times because of that deep love.

Family comes first. I will never regret the time I took away from home and work when Daddy and then Mama became ill. I would have regretted not doing so. If family or friends call and say “I need you,” I’ll be there. Mama taught me that. Work is important, but it doesn’t come before love.

Mama modeled the love she had for all living things and I took after her with a vengeance. She never turned away an animal in need. We always had animals in the house, in the yard, and some out on Uncle Don’s farm. We had horses at a boarding stable and she was out every day possible taking care of her Big Red.

Uncle Don is gone now, the horses are gone, the goats are gone, and so is Mama. My house is still full of soft, sweet babies; dogs, cats, birds, and other occasional visitors. Her life revolved around family and friends. Mine does, too.

Yes, I am my mother’s daughter. And I am passing these same traits to my own daughters and to their daughters. Thank you, Mama! We love you and we all miss you.